How are you?

This is one of the most frequently asked questions. We hear it almost every day. Yesterday morning, I was on my way to work and when I got into the elevator, I met a collegue of mine. She smiled at me and asked:

How are you?

What I thought:

I’m not fine, I am totally stressed and I don’t know what to do first. I have to learn for my studies and don’t get this at all. I have dispute with my best friend and that’s why I am not looking forward at all to our holiday-trip in Thailand. Further I do not have any idea what to do with my cat during that time because the person I could always count on seems to have his menstruation. And on top, I have to go to sleep alone at night!

I replied politely:

I’m fine, thank you! What about you?

The collegue told me about the funny things she made yesterday and what her life is all about. She didn’t even recognize that I didn’t even listen.

Today, same situation, different story:

I was on my way to the elevator to get to a business date. I met a collegue. I smiled at him and asked:

How are you?

The answer was surprising but true. He said that his mom would be sick and that he is worried about her. She would have cancer and it does not look good.

I was astonished about this honest answer and even if this news are very bad news: It was almost refreshing to hear an answer so pure! I like when people do not hide their true feelings. I prefer the complaining instead of lying.

In fact, people who do reveal their feelings for you, they do trust you. And that’s what makes me proud.

Nobody is happy all the time, but we try not to show our sad feelings. Nobody wants to see sad people or take conversations with them because they are all afraid that their bad mood is tearing them down.

We should all lie a little less when we were asked next time:

How are you?