I am sitting at the airport and I am watching two of the employees helping a handicapped man. He is not able to change his wheelchair to another seat himself.

I think nearly everybody thinks the same watching this:

“I am glad that I am able to walk and I am glad not to need anybody helping me for such ordinary things.”

I don’t like making other people bother or circumstances at all. This is the worst thing for me.

Whereas doing things for others fills my heart with happyness. I think it is the most valuable thing, seeing another one smile just because of me. This is my try to make this world a better place.

I definitely have the wrong job. I should do kind of social thing or even some creative thing….
But anyways, what would it be like for me to be in need all the time?
For most of the people the worst things concerning such a situation, for example being tied to a wheelchair, would be the following things:

You woul never be able again to go for a run.

You would not be able again to dance.

You would not be able to visit Rome or other places with bad pavement as easy as before.

You could not go anywhere without being observed by people.
People like me now.
For me this would not be the stuff I would be concerned about first. Sure this would not be nice, but these things would not be my first fear.
If I will ever be a disabled person, the worst would be my own fear.

My fear of losing my friends because of the circumstances I would make them.

The fear, that every trip we want to make, takes the double time with me.

The fear that every trip would cost a lot of more money because of the things I would need in extra.

The fear that there has to be someone who feels uncomfortable with me.

The fear that nobody wants to hear me complaining.

For me I always knew that I really love somebody, when it is absolutely indifferent for me, if this person is handicapped or not. Staying side by side, even with my feet next to the wheels, would be more important than standing feet to feet.
But for me one thing is also for sure:

I don’t want anyone to make the decision between staying with me as a bother for everything – or leaving me.

I would leave myself.
And now I have to enter the plane because there is someone waiting at the other side of my trip, who I would love this much even feet to wheel.

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About Miss Ob·so·let

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genious. it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.


Personal Thoughts


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