Today, I have accompanied someone to the doctor. For me, she is one of my closest beloved. She is always there for me and I see her every single day, except of a few ones a year.
I saw a big needle. I saw it and I observed the one who was going to get hurt with it. Although she was trembling and was afraid of the foreign people and the medical instruments, she was brave. She stood still and trusted me like she always does. She knew that I would not allow to do her any harm.
I watched the little creature and felt sad, that it would hurt a bit. It was my fault, it was me who decided to do so. I don’t know if it’s kind of egoistic or if it really is for her best. I would like to ask her, but she isn’t able to answer. I always want the best for her, it’s my responsibility.
I forced myself to hold her while she was getting the needle into her pretty little neck. Not watching it would have been easier for me, but she needs a strong hand holding her and I want to be the one who’s always there for her, like she is for me.
The procedure was over in a few seconds. She whined a bit and tried to escape, but she stood strong and was so damn brave.
I think in the end, it was more painful having disappointed her (and her trust in me, that I would not allow to do her any harm), than the injection itself.