miss.ob·so·le̱t
2. January 2018

spider silk

There it is again, this cloud that only lets me see rain. She breaks in on me and I can not help it. Suddenly I’m standing in the rain and getting wet. I hold my sweater over me to protect myself from the big raindrops, but there are just too many. I pull

my neck and the cold wind whistles around my ears.

Where does the rain come from? It was just so sunny so far. Too many thoughts. Too many trains of thought. It is not always good to think this much. It is not always good to go from the hundredth to the thousandth.

It’s not the things that worry us, but the thoughts we make about it. My brain is building a spider web. It weaves one fiber at a time and suddenly it’s a web that looks like a cloud. Negative remains hanging and can not be solved. It can not free itself and at some point the cloud breaks down and it starts to rain.

It sticks, it’s a weird consistency and it sticks everywhere. You try to strip it, but the spider silk is an extreme. It is four times as strong as steel and can be stretched so terribly far without tearing. The spun threads are light and waterproof, but still have a high water absorption capacity, such as wool. Like wool in a cloud. A storage for raindrops. 

I try to say something but there is this wall in front of me. It’s as if I’m no longer connected to my body and my synapses can no longer make my mouth understand what to say. I think so much and can only look out of myself with this empty look. Say something! Do something! People think you are crazy. Connect your mind back with your body!

The spider silk resists microbiological attacks, I can not break it. I am not able to destroy it.

I try so hard but the weight bends my thoughts, an attack I cannot escape. Heavy, pushing me down to the floor and the rain making it slippery on top.

But spider silk is yet biodegradable. At first it is not recognizable, even though I am trying so hard. But then i can feel it. It’s getting better. A huge hug keeps me save and gives me the warmth I need. And so there is a big #P#U#F#F# and everything decays into its individual parts. Goodbye spider web. Thank you for holding me when I need it my special.

It is still drizzling and the cloud is sneaking away. The storm is over.

Turn it off, do not worry anymore. You can not change life, you do not have everything under control. Be self-confident and stand straight! You are somebody You are wonderful and you know that! You knew it once, remind yourself again little breakable girl!

The sky is turning blue, you just have to look.

Let another one feed the spider!

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Personal Thoughts

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