So fresh and young, motivated, fun-loving. Life is a playground and all swings are free. There’s nothing that can slow me down, there’s nobody standing in my way. Everything is exciting, everything is so new and undiscovered. This inner fire, which heats my mind. I do not know where the source comes from, but life just bubbles out of me. It’s like a ray of light that I throw off permanently. I open my arms wide and want to hug so much. Look here, just look! Did you see that? Do you feel what I feel? I can grab it, the pulse of the main artery. I am invincible! Everything is easy, everything goes by itself! I have confidence in myself and can not get enough of anything.

Poor in experience and so abounding in thirst for knowledge. It’s the seesaw on the playground. The less you know, the less you think. You just try it. you do not paint the consequences. What should go wrong? I can not stop it! The thirst for knowledge is at the top, the experience grinds on the ground. Seesaw… Confidence in life, trust in fellow human beings, the necessary naivety to leave behind thinking hesitators.

At some point, the seesaw starts to tip over. Negative experiences make you reconsider better for the future. One is thinking, just-to-do-it becomes more difficult. The head is always switched on. The head prohibits spontaneity.

I want to be young again, burying all my experiences in the sandbox. I dig it in deeply and want to see the playground again with children’s eyes.

I want to slide the slide down and take the whole swing with me. I want to rock, higher, faster, more swinging. I want to bake a cake again with nothing but sand and firmly believe that you can eat it afterwards. I would like to make the clothes dirty without considering whether the stains go out again.

Still smiling at the thought of how I used to be. Naive is probably the best expression for it. Being naive is not always good. But f *** I have lived well with it.

Experience has eaten away this naivety. She gnaws away bites of it. Crumbs are left behind, but they are not enough for my cake made of sand.

Sometimes the alcohol sticks the crumbs together and paralyzes those annoying thoughts. Sometimes I manage to lock them away. Then I’m naive again, thoughtless and on the seesaw at the top.

Experiences are the footsteps we leave behind. While others can only see the marks in the sand and do not know what is behind it, the owner already knows where the road leads.
Never judge the path you have not gone yourself, but keep the belief that this way was purposely made for you.

And do not forget to go to the playground every day and look for the child in you.
If you now think that I mean alcohol, then you have not understood anything.

But f*** off, you’re still a kid and you do not have to understand everything.