This week, I changed my picture on Xing. Xing is a European career-oriented social networking site for enabling a small-world network for professionals. I thought about changing the pic, because I am about to change my job. So I thought that a new pic would match to a new job. The picture I made was okay, I was pretty satisfied with it although I did not use any make-up.

The first reaction was from a former colleague. He said I couldn’t take such a photo for a carreer-platform. I asked him why and then he replied that it would be too beautiful –  and for that, not for business. I didn’t know if I should take this as a compliment or not, although I appreciate his honest opinion.

The second reaction came from a man I dated once. He had never called after the date and I was sure our characters wouldn’t match. He asked me to meet again… I am sure he didn’t ask me because of my mind, my intelligence or my being.

The third reaction was an offer from an escort service. Apparently I seem to have the perfect look for this job….

There were a lot more reactions, but I am sure, nobody looked at the inside of my profile but only at the new picture. I am clever, I am smart and I am studying a lot. I am not lazy and I am able to grasp correlations quickly. My IQ is better than the average and I do speek several languages. People doing the same job as me are asking me often how to solve upcoming problems and I am not hesitating doing also practical stuff on my own.

But still:

I started to wonder if I should change my picture again. I didn’t want to trigger such reactions and obviously, nobody puts being intelligent past a sexy woman. One seems to exclude the other. I thought about it the whole week. I am afraid of my new job beginning soon and I am even more afraid to be lumped together with all these women who are not intelligent but only good-looking. I am afraid that they call me ‘typical blonde’ or that the others would bitch about me to have this job only because of the male boss.

But then I realized that it is not their picture I would like to change. The thing I have to change is the picture I do have about myself in my own head. I am aware of my abilities! And as long as I am aware of it, I should have enough self-confidence to just give a f***. So first thing to do: change my picture without changing my picture!