I always wondered: How do we know that the person you are staying with, if he or she is the right one. The one you should stay with and spend your life with. I think for every person, the reasons to argument like this are different.
For some persons, this might only be a reasonable fact. Perhaps he or she may be a rich person and it is easy spending time with him or her, because you can do almost anything with money. Money sure might be a good foundation in a materialistic world like ours. Money alone does not make you happy. But it cries a lot better in the taxi than in the bus.
For some person, the reason to hold on to their partner may be a similar reasonable fact. But in this case, I don’t mean money. This time, I am talking about facts like ‘She’s the mother of my children‘ or ‘I don’t know it otherwise‘ or things like ‘it has always been like this, there’s no need to change‘. Or it might be a partnership of convenience. Perhaps you can’t afford the rent to your flat alone, so you decide to better stay with the one who pays fifty-fifty. Or perhaps you are good in making the paperwork and your partner is better in technical things. You just complement each other well.
And some people are only not able at all, to stay alone. I think that in this category, there are so much more people than you can imagine! Definitely. Quote says ‘Better a pig at home than all alone‘.
One more category would be built of the people who just fell in love for no reason.
Since I’m older than 20 now, I already lived through some relationships. Not many, but sure enough. It has always been a mixture. I fell in love… I was blind and didn’t see… I was used to someone and didn’t even think about changing my life… and in the end, I have been so damn lonely that I almost lost myself trying to force a good working relationship without any base.
In a few days, I will have my 35th anniversary. I am almost panic-fueled about that. It’s the second time I go nuts, so I got a little practice now. The first time I had a midlife crisis five years ago. I used to say that I will never be like all the desperate women yelling about their age. Of course, I am the loudest one now…
Half of my life already done. Did I reach enough goals? Did you live your life to its fullest? All these questions spinning round in my head making me sick.
But these days, I got an important perception. It may be a potty example.
There was the city run in my hometown and my boyfriend and me were participating. I never thought to take these ten kilometers under the mark of one hour. I am not in training and for my conditions, the altitude difference is quite much. But my boyfriend was running with me. He is much faster than me, but he stayed at my side. This was pretty nice, but the more interesting was the way he pushed me to the limit. He had this caring manner and kept saying ‘come on – we can still do it in under the goal of one hour‘. He did that with exactly the right sensitiveness. It was not snappy at all, but it was challenging. He always challenges me and that’s an interesting thing I never had before.
It might not be possible for me to master every challenge, but he gives me this feeling of achieving goals, I would not reach without him. He gives me strength and believes in me. He moves my boarders more far away. He makes me think about things in a different way. I started to scrutinize so much more and sometimes it feels like looking at a black paper and suddently see white spots on it. The spots might have been there from the beginning, but I just didn’t see.
We are hiking around in the woods and he picks up every piece of rubbish he walks by. Two years ago, I wouldn’t have done this. Not my affair I would have thought. Now, I do it like he does and I feel better. I am more aware of my environment. I am more part of it than I have been before.
I am the type of woman getting upset easy. I am not really angry, but I keep moaning every now and then. (To my defense, I also get happy about little things easily.) I got this feeling, that there are fewer and fewer negative vibes now. I start to try new things in life.
I could enumerate lot more things, but the quintessence I wanted to say is that I finally found someone who gives me an absolutely new reason to be convinced that he is the right man. He merges all the reasons other people are staying with their partner in one big reason (except the money and the children thing) 🙂
He makes me a better person loving myself every day. And that’s why I love him so much. So, a midlife crisis at the age of 35 isn’t justified at all, because I already found more than thousands of other people will ever find. And that’s myself and these arms holding me, completing me.