I finally got my keys to my new flat. One would think that I am looking forward to going in for the first time tomorrow, looking around alone in my apartment for the first time. In fact, tears are coming to me all the time. Now I’m 33, moving alone in a small apartment and do not know how to do it all alone with the renovation. And there are also the exams for my new studies….

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It’s been so long that I wrote some words here and it happened so endless much. I will never be able to catch up the feelings I lived through here.

I’m so terribly unhappy and I absolutely do not know how to put it back straight. I have never been this infinitely sad and I feel so damn alone in this world.

It’s just hard to believe that, despite the efforts of my friends, you feel as if you are alone in front of a huge pile of broken glass which has once been my life. My little Lucy mouse is the only constant that is still with me, but I keep her locked in the apartment, so she has no other choice!

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