It’s been so long that I wrote some words here and it happened so endless much. I will never be able to catch up the feelings I lived through here.
I’m so terribly unhappy and I absolutely do not know how to put it back straight. I have never been this infinitely sad and I feel so damn alone in this world.
It’s just hard to believe that, despite the efforts of my friends, you feel as if you are alone in front of a huge pile of broken glass which has once been my life. My little Lucy mouse is the only constant that is still with me, but I keep her locked in the apartment, so she has no other choice!

Hold my hand, guide me! Bring me back to life and show me how it can be. I once was alive and I forgot how it works. Take my hand, infold it in yours and let me feel your warmth. I want to feel the squeeze, I want to sense the striation of your skin. Your other hand holding my head and with one single touch everything bad disappears.
Mama was not feeling well for the whole day, but no one could have guessed that she would collapse. Fortunately, M. was at odds with A., and was at home. Something’s wrong with her digestion and circulation.
Mom did only feel sick for yesterday. Today she hung up the laundry again and made a yeast cake. We all take care that she does not strain herself. Because we all want her to be fine.
We were “playing with money” and played like in real life. C. had the game name Silke Klein and me Erika Fromlet. M.’s name was Jimmy Begster.
C., M. and I built a house for our Crazy Crocos.